On my birthday

I am in a dilemma right now. I am torn into pieces of all the things that I want to do on my birthday, which is on Tuesday (09/24). I want a meaningful, great, quite peaceful and happy day. Though I am going to go to church first which ever decision I made.

First, I want to celebrate at home, cooked some for my family and stay at home where I can achieve a quite peaceful and great and happy day. I want to spend some time being completely happy with my love ones but my siblings have classes so, I am going to be alone at home with my father, kasambahay (house helper) and my other sibling. It might be just an ordinary day at home.

Second, I want to go out with my boy friend though he needs to go to work because it is a tuesday and he just started in his new job. I want to go watch movies, eat a lot of food and talk to him all day which is not boring for me. You know what, I can talk to him for long hours without being bored because I am just happy talking to my best friend / boy friend. I just want a date. I miss having date. If he needs to go to work on my day, it’s okay I understand that.

Third, go to Manila and find and meet some friends who are available to eat and chat with me. Maybe just maybe. I can catch up with a lot of them on a tuesday night after their work. My two girl friends, Rachel and Pauline are in school and busy doing stuff. Which automatically not available.

Fourth, if nothing will happen on my day, maybe I can go alone and treat myself and look back all the past 23 years I have been.

Reaching 23 years living and still kicking some butts is really hard. I know I am tough and will tougher than ever. I am just thankful that I have this kind of life. Whatever happens on that day, I am surely thankful that I am alive today.

I will always be the happy and smiling Anna that others usually says about me. Because a lot of people who knew me, describes me as a sun that can brighten up the room and I will still be that kind of person 23 years more and counting.

Love,
Anna

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Happy one! Labor day! Updates here on my blog: themes, profiles, about me section and more

I have decided to update my blog since this plan is a long overdue on my list. I spend whole day polishing this up to be more reader and visual friendly. These changes also have a good impact for me to blog often and I am happy with it.

I must pursue all of my plans and work on a new list. I have thought about doing some extra activities since I have nothing to do here at home. I thought about changing my blog address when I have availed my domain name. I know it is a lot of work. I love doing some work here in WordPress and this is my very first decent blog I ever have.

Updates:

I did some profile updates since the old one is an obsolete entry but I am not satisfied with my latest. I need to think more enticing, more realistic and mature about me entry.

I am having a writer’s block when it comes to my about me because I am not a descriptive type of person who reiterate all the things that I love, like and do most. I need to exacerbate something beautifully craft and real.

Labor Holiday

Happy Labor Holiday! The workforce group have some celebration to make this day because today is their day! Some stayed at home and be with their families while others went to the mall and beach to have fun.

I am not yet belong to the work force so I somehow don’t feel the awesomeness of this day. I must admit that I am unemployed but it is not by choice. I have to wait for the right time and while waiting for that right time I must do something fruitful which is merely equal to a job.

Happy One!

Before I forgot, today is also the 40th month of me and Ejay (my guy). We don’t usually celebrate monthsaries so big but still it is special for the both of us. We do not count the months and sometimes we get confused if how many years we have been together. :-)

What is important with monthsaries are the habit of “reminding” how strong we are in our relationship. Nothing can be more important with is to, REMEMBER and greet each other because it pumps the blood in the relationship to let it live strong and happy.

I love today and everyday. Stay happy as you can be and live your life for it is unique.

Quote: “The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can’t help it.”                                                                                                  -Leo Rosten

Love,
Anna

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Money cannot make you look mature, you know.

Just a thought from me, I am now 22 and all those people whom I know when they are at their 20’s they go to places, see everything that they like, eat everything and live life that they dreamed of because they have this thing on their hands, “money”. I must admit to myself that I envy them (I think people felt it too towards to others and its natural because it is a sign to pursue one thing) but I told myself not to because we have our own paths to walk through and I could not do anything at this time because I am tied up here at home waiting for something.

I think money can make you happy especially when you felt alone. You can buy your own happiness but that’s not for long for sure but moments and satisfaction on what you have now. I think being really happy is looking unto your inner self and look around slowly because having money can put you in a fast phase and you could forget anything.

If I have my money, I will make sure to start saving it for my future and half of it will go to everything I want from fueling up my stomach up to roaming coast to coast.

I think life is all about doing what makes you happy. There are reasons to wait. Dare to get lost, and be kind and humble to everyone. It is all about making memories composed of choices and sacrifices because growing up and being mature is learning how and when to hold on and let go.

Right now I am stuck here at home waiting for so long to have difference in my life. I know sometimes the days passed by doing nothing and I know I am wasting every seconds of my life and chances that I might have. I believed that time will come that my life will be much colorful than anyone else.

When my life starts, I will never let it go. I will never stay at home. I will work hard for every dream that I am dreaming of now. I will not be satisfied with anything, I will keep on chasing dreams and be braver. I will held my feet on the ground and make memories. Between choices and sacrifices I will always choose to be happy in everything.

When that time comes, I will care for myself and love myself like no one did before. :-)

cheers for more happiness and growing up.

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Emotions, it can take away your sanity.

I am anxious with anything to everything these past few days and I could not help it. Maybe because I do not have anyone to talk to and to rant on to. I know I am strong to do things on my own. I am good at taking care of people especially the ones I love most. I indeed thought about the past and the future very much and continue to live in my present.

Do you know what I thought about “present”? For me, it is the most random thing that ever invented. It is full of surprises, excitements and setbacks. What I can do about that is to stay strong and be strategically cleared to what I need to push through. I have to set my mind and be a goal oriented person. At this moment, I am at the stage of following rules, staying at home, waiting, caring and making the most of my life with the ones I love. I know that there is no reason to hurry things because I have to slow down and look everything and record it in my mind.

Depression

Depressive episodes sometimes come to me and I could not avoid it. I must admit to myself that I feel, happy, loved, anxious, sad, obnoxious, free, excited, depressed, hurt, worried, confined, selfish, cared and more… but at the end I have to be with myself and stay sane enough for those people who loved me. I have to forget those people who were jealous and hate me for I have the right to love on my own.

I felt bad for myself for Google-ing some stuff (manic depression) and might brought me to insanity. I am bewildered with the past and the future made me felt like alone and nothing to the people whom I value the most but I am thankful for my best friend for stopping me to cross the line between sanity and insanity. I have to stay. I have to stay stronger now.

Learn

For those of you who are thinking of searching some psychiatric related things in Google. Better to look for someone to talk too like you mother,sister or best friend because they can help you that searching and be paranoid with the things you read.

Or, if you don’t have anyone. Try me. I could help you and lend you my ears and let’s start sharing things. Stay strong. Be brave enough to eliminate whatever monsters you have in your life. Stay with yourself.

Love,

Anna

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Note to self

I have gone offline here in WordPressfor two months and I am sorry for that. Well, I am busy with things here at home and learning French language that makes my brain breaks so hard.
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On the other side: before turning 22

Hey! I’m still 21! :D Though I know tomorrow or a minute from now I am turning 22. The are many things that happened to me yesterday and today! From picking a fight with Ejay up to pursuing my advance “Birthday treat” to my family.
I am terribly happy about the fact that I am not expecting to be happy like this. I am thankful to my mom and to my siblings who really make me smile today and make me realize how special I am to people around me. I have thought of doing nothing on my birthday but they pushed me and I am writing this so that when I looked back through reading all my posts, I will never forget how happy I am today! It will remind me how lucky I am to have them.

and then…

Hey! I know!

Hey! I’m still very much alive and kicking! (Just So You Know)

There are tons of things I wanna share so better to keep reading on my blog the following days for I am gonna tell you things that I did these past few days that I am gone here on WordPress.

Let me tell you why…